The worst vodka jelly misfortune of all time – official
In early 1997, a student from the University of Leicester set a new world record for sitting in a bath of strawberry vodka jelly – or at least, he though he did. In fact, there was no such world record established with Guinness, so there was no record to break.
Not only that, but the student had forgotten to send out any sponsorship forms, so his stunt didn’t even raise any money for charity. Distraught, he began to eat the very jelly he was sitting in, attempting to drown his sorrows with vodka jelly mix.
Worse was to follow though. Other students, on hearing of his idiocy, began to file into his bathroom, to point, laugh and take photos. Angered by this, and needing the toilet (on account of all the strawberry jelly shots he’d been downing) he attempted to get out of the bath. Sadly though, he was by now quite drunk, and so he slipped as he put his foot on the side, falling back and banging his head – knocking himself unconscious.
Now unconscious, he fell back into the bath with his head below the level of the vodka jelly shot mix. Soon his lungs began to fill with vodka jelly. This was because the student – who we choose not to name to save him and his family from embarrassment – had mixed the vodka-laced jelly with the wrong vodka jelly ratio of water to spirits. He had in fact put in too little water, meaning that the jelly hadn’t really set properly. This was from not following a proper vodka jelly recipe but instead just making it up as he went along. So his jelly was so runny he could very easily drown in it.
Ironically at this point – seeing as he’d been trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records with a record that didn’t actually exist – he now did actually qualify for a world record, which was for the worst vodka jelly misfortune of all time.
Sadly though he was unconscious so was quite unaware of his new found record-breaking status. Plus his lungs were now filling with fruit-flavoured vodka jelly, so actually whether or not he was now in the Guinness Book of Records was the least of his worries. Indeed, some time later the Guinness official who had been monitoring him was criticised for not stepping into help the lad, and instead just carrying on looking at his stopwatch. He was fined a week’s pay, but such was his anger at this perceived injustice that he resigned and took his employers to court. The case became known as the vodka jelly recipe case, centring as it did around whether the ingredients in the jelly shots recipe had contributed to the situation. This case is ongoing.
A turn for the better
You’d think this was about as bad a day as you could get and that things could only get better for the drowning student. Actually, you wouldn’t think that would you, what you’d think is that he’d go on to die – as is implied by the word “drowning”. But you’d be wrong if you thought that – and right if you thought the former sentiment. For at that moment his flat mate came in to tell him that his goldfish had died, and instantly appraised what what was happening. He pulled the unfortunate victim from the bath and, being a medical student, knew exactly what to do.
What he did was to pick the student up by his legs, and shake him upside down so that all the vodka jelly mixture began to pour out of his lungs. This saved the student’s life. However, he’d been under the jelly shots mix for so long, that he unfortunately slipped into a coma.
The young man remained in a comatose state for four long years. His family would come to visit him, sit and talk to him. As the lad was being fed through a tube, they couldn’t really bring him any grapes or anything. So instead they would bring in vodka jelly babies, or vodka jelly orange slices, eat them themselves, getting a bit tipsy in the process.
The darkest hour is just before the dawn
Things were looking pretty bleak, with his family all drunk on vodka jelly cake and various other vodka desserts. But just when the doctors were considering turning of the life support system, the remarkable young man sat up in bed and asked for some lemon vodka jelly shots.
The doctors were amazed, and promptly announced it as one of the true medical marvels of the decade. There then began the long task of telling the student (for he was still a student; they’d kindly left his place open for him) what had happened in the intervening four years since his horrendous vodka jelly-induced mishap.
There is a happy ending to this story, which is that that very many who was so laughed at for his vodka jelly shenanigans, compounded by his failure to get his vodka jelly shots ratio correct, went on to become prime minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Which just goes to show, doesn’t it, that things sometimes look a bit worse than they really are.
Safer vodka jelly
All of this could have been avoided if the man had taken a bit more care with his vodka jelly recipe. He would have realised that you need to use the correct amounts of water, vodka and jelly mix. He also might have realised that pieces of fruit can be added to the jelly shots (before they set) to give it both an attractive look and also some health benefits.
Other methods of making the product a bit more interesting, say for a vodka jelly party or something, include making a layered vodka jelly. This is where different flavours (and hence different colours) of vodka jelly are layered on top of each other, with each layer being left to set before the subsequent layer is added. The end result is very attractive.